Sunday, December 2, 2012

A nearly perfect Sunday

It's raining today: a sort of misty half-hearted rain.  This morning was very dark; the day was very slow to start.  I woke up cranky.  I'm not a Sunday fan.  They feel like a missed opportunity.  The week is over, perhaps it could've been better.  The new week looms.  They feel dreary, simultaneously too short and too long.
I spent my Saturday fairly slothfully so I was determined to actually do something with my time.  I ran laundry, listened to Prairie Home Companion, cleaned up, made meatballs.  I attempted to spend time with Lala, but she was pretty insistent on sleeping and very fussy when awake.
I still wasn't feeling very happy, so I insisted my husband and I take a walk for the first time in a while.  The air was refreshing and it was unseasonably warm.  I started our walk with heavy talk and it didn't get better as we went.  I am discontent.  I wanted to analyze and explore and I wanted my husband to be party to it.  We don't make enough money, we aren't trying hard enough, we haven't figured out where we're going.
I rounded the corner and caught myself.  Why wasn't I happy?  This day had been excellent.  Dinner and a conversation with my sister awaited me.  I realized that I was building up the power of Sunday in my head.  There was no reason to be unfulfilled.
I straightened up a little, I stopped griping about our prospects, and allowed myself to actually be happy for a little while.

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